Look But Don't Touch
by Irrepressable
Summary: It's just another day for Amy and Rory on the TARDIS. Then they hear strange noises coming from the Doctor's room. They know what he's doing. Three days later, he's still doing it. Our favorite couple has to keep an eye on him before he injures himself. Rory must babysit the Doctor to keep him from injuring himself. Seriously, if he keeps it up, he's going to go blind.


**This is the result of a RP I did a few years back. I apologize for the stupidity.**

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It had been three days. _Three Days_. The Doctor was still in his room, making a variety of noises. Amy and Rory knew what he was doing in there. The moaning and repated slapping sounds were a dead give-away. Normally they would leave the Doctor- and his hand, apparently- with a great deal of privacy, but he was being very loud and it was distracting them from their everyday goings-on. It was official. They had to do something about the Doctor. This was what brought Amy and Rory to stand just outside the Doctor's bedroom door. "Oi, Raggedy Man!" Amy called out.

The Doctor's strained, somewhat breathless voice replied, "This isn't really a good time!"

"We know what you've been doing in there." Rory said. "It's been three days. You need to stop!"

"I'm not-" the Doctor interrupted his sentance to moan. "I don't need to come out!"

"At least come out to eat something!" Amy cried out.

"I'm-" the Doctor let out a grunt "-not hungry."

They didn't mention that the Doctor was being very loud in his actions. It was a bit embarrassing. They'd tell him once they were able to get him out of his room. Amy looked to her husband and said, "We need to get him out of there somehow."

Rory paused for a brief second before saying, "I might have a dumb idea."

The nurse explained his plan. His wife approved. So, the Ponds headed to the TARDIS' kitchen. They used only the freshest ingredients. Rory even filleted a fresh fish. About an hour later, Amy and Rory finished what they were doing. They put the items on a tray and carried it to just outside the Doctor's room. "Doctor," Rory called out, "We have something for you."

The noises coming from the Doctor's room stopped. Amy and Rory heard the Time Lord sniff. Quickly, the Doctor asked, "Is that what I think it is?"

"It's fish fingers and custard!" Amy said, still holding the tray. "Rory and I made it ourselves. The fish fingers are still warm."

"Come on, Doctor." Rory cajoled. "We worked so hard on it just for you."

"And it's fresh?" the Doctor questioned.

"I filleted the fish myself." Rory replied.

There was a long, long pause before the Doctor finally spoke up. "Let me put my trousers on."

A couple minutes later, the Doctor emerged from his room. He looked a bit disheveled, but he otherwise seemed fine. The Doctor followed his companions over to the TARDIS' galley. Amy set the tray of food down on the table, shortly after which the Doctor sat down at the table and started devouring the fish fingers and custard. Amy looked at Rory. Rory looked at Amy. They both nodded at one another. Rory lunged at the Doctor and pulled him from his seat, holding the Time Lord's arms behind his back. Amy shoved her hands into the Doctor's pockets, searching until, finally, she located his sonic screwdriver. "What is the meaning of this?" The Doctor asked.

"This is an intervention." Amy said.

"Playing with yourself is fine," Rory said, "But doing it for three days straight, maybe even more if we hadn't stopped you, can't be good for you."

"You were also being very loud, Doctor." Amy added. "You were making life difficult for us, too."

The Doctor was silent for a moment before asking, "Was I really that disruptive?"

"You were _extremely_ disruptive." Amy replied.

"Oh." an apologetic look appeared on the Doctor's face.

"You need to stop before you hurt yourself." Rory said. "At least for twenty-four hours."

The male nurse released the Time Lord's arms, setting him free. "I can stop for twenty-four hours." the Doctor said, seemingly confident.

"Prove it." Amy said flatly.

"I can do it!" the Doctor insisted.

"You've done this before." Rory said. "Only then, it was for twelve hours."

"Time Lords never do anything half-way." The Doctor said sheepishly before asking,

"One of us needs to make sure that you at least stop touching yourself for twenty-four hours." Amy said.

"How are we supposed to pick which one of us does it?" Rory asked.

"You could draw straws." the Doctor suggested.

Amy looked at the two males and said, "That could work."

The Doctor nodded and ran off. A couple minutes later, he returned with straws in his hand, the lengths hidden by the way he gripped them. Amy and Rory reluctantly looked at the Doctor's hand. "Don't worry." the Doctor said. "I washed my hands."

The Ponds nodded before they each drew a straw. Unfortunately, it was Rory who drew the short straw. "Sorry, Rory." Amy said with a sheepish smile. "It looks like you're the one who has to watch over him."

"I swear that I will do my best to not touch myself for twenty-four hours." the Doctor promised.

"You'd better." Amy said, her tone quite serious.

The Doctor smiled at his companions before walking off. It was going to be a long twenty-four hours.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Rory tried to keep himself busy in between periodically checking on the Doctor. It was time for him to check on the Time Lord. Carefully, Rory headed over to the Doctor's room. He could hear a swift, repetitive slapping sound coming from inside. Steeling himself, Rory pulled the door open. Inside the room, the Doctor was playing with himself, but not in the way that Rory had been trying to prevent. In the Doctor's hand was a paddle ball, which he was entheusiastically playing with. "Doctor, what are you doing?" Rory asked.

"Playing paddleball." the Doctor replied.

"You're being loud." Rory said, taking the paddleball from the Doctor before leaving the room.

"I'll find another way to keep myself busy, then." the Doctor said with a smile.

No sooner had Rory closed the door behind him than he heard a swift, repetitive slapping sound again. The male nurse swung the door open. Inside the room, the Doctor was playing with another paddle ball. "Where did you get that?" Rory asked.

"I had a second one in my room." the Doctor replied.

Rory confiscated the Doctor's second paddle ball. "Can't you just go into the common room and watch the telly?" Rory asked.

"Right." the Doctor said. "I hope that a _House_ repeat is on."

With that, the Time Lord left his room and headed over to the common room. It would be easier to keep an eye on him in the common room, Rory thought. When Rory sat on the couch, he didn't think that keeping an eye on the Doctor in the common room was easier said than done. He tried to keep an eye on the Doctor but slowly, slowly his eyes grew heavier. Finally, Rory was asleep.

oooooooooooooooooo

A few hours later, Rory awoke with a start. He looked frantically around the common room to see that the Doctor wasn't there. Rory searched the areas of the TARDIS that the Doctor would most likely be before finally heading to the Doctor's room. Rory opened the door and stepped in. He could hear the shower running. Over the sound of the shower, he heard the Doctor making some loud moaning sounds. Rory quietly headed into the Doctor's bathroom. He couldn't see the Doctor's silhouette through the shower curtain. Steeling himself, Rory pulled the shower curtain aside. Inside the shower, the Doctor had his hands in his hair and was working some shampoo into a lather. The Doctor was, of course, completely naked just like anyone in the shower, but he didn't have anything that Rory, as a nurse, hadn't seen before. "Hello, Rory!" the Doctor said. "You usually don't interrupt my showers. Is there something you need?"

"Were you-" Rory began to ask.

"Singing _Love Shack_ in Raxacoricofallapatorian? Yes. Yes, I was." the Doctor said, interrupting Rory. "Was I being disruptive again?"

"Oh." the human said sheepishly. "Well, could you sing something else? You _were_ being disruptive."

"Okety-Dokety!" the Doctor said with a grin.

The Time Lord then pulled the shower curtain closed and began singing again, this time the Meat Loaf song, _I'd Do Anything For Love_. Letting out a resigned sigh, Rory left the Doctor's bathroom. This would indeed be a long, _long_ twenty-four hours.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Rory decided at the twelfth hour that he really didn't like making sure that the Doctor went twenty-four hours without doing something. This was just too high-maintenence. To top it all off, Rory hadn't had anything to eat since he was too busy keeping an eye on the Doctor. Rory was _hungry_. So, he decided to take a break from watching the Doctor to make a ham sandwich. Rory simply devoured it. When he was done with his sandwich, he searched for the Doctor again. This time, the Doctor was sitting on the sofa. Rory could see him from behind. The Doctor's arm was moving quickly, his hand not visible but seemingly moving repetitively. "Doctor, _no_!" Rory cried out.

The Doctor's movements stopped for a split second and the telly made an exploding sound. There was a video game on the telly. The Doctor groaned and said, "I almost beat the high score!"

"Sorry." Rory apologized. "Carry on."

"Reaching that level in that game takes a while, even for me." the Doctor sighed. "Well, now I have to start over from the beginning."

"I said I was sorry." Rory said, his voice sounding very sheepish.

The Doctor reached down before sitting back up with a canned beverage in hand. He then popped the can open and took a good, long swig. "Ahh." the Doctor said. "An energy drink- the stereotypical drink of gamers."

Rory held back a groan. Like the Doctor needed even _more_ energy. The man was already a handful as it was. Rory glanced at the screen before walking around the couch, sitting next to the Doctor, and picking up a second game controller. "I'll be player two." Rory said decisively.

"Ooh, co-op mode!" the Doctor said gleefully.

Maybe this part wouldn't be so bad.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It had officially been twenty-four hours since the Doctor had last touched himself and Rory was utterly exhausted. Once the time had passed, he half-dragged himself to his and Amy's room before plopping down on the bed and passing out instantly.

Not long afterwards, Amy went into the room and found her husband fast asleep. Keeping such a close eye on the Doctor for twenty-four hours must have really worn him out. With a gentle smile, Amy brought the duvet up and tucked Rory in. She then placed a kiss on his cheek. With a gentle smile, Amy left the room. She'd let Rory sleep for now. He'd earned it.


End file.
